What may be…

by Bonnie Pockley

Who do you want to be when you’re 50? When you’re 30 this is actually a very delightful thing to consider…provided you take out any sense of fear or perceived obstacle to what you want to be and do. When asked this I found myself relishing to possibilities and freedom of my life, at this point. If you make everything possible, because this is merely an exercise in dreaming without limit, who and what would you like to be? It demands honesty with the self. What do you REALLY love. What makes you tick.

This exercise in contemplation came out of the discovery of 400 photos of my grandmother, circa 1950s, in an old cigarette tin. Beautiful, atmospheric and candid, not only did they capture the mood of reflection and nostalgia but provoked a response to a quiet question, ‘What will people see when they look back at photos of you?’

And so I started to think about it…in an idealistic way. Who did I want to be in 20 years, 30 years?

An artist. A jeweller. Someone who was involved in costume design but could foray into fashion. Reputable. Good at what I did. A kind heart. A good mother to my twins. A dancer. A writer. An athlete. A lover.

Intelligent. Warm. Heartfelt. Passionate. Clever. Open. Optimistic. Physical. Fit. Healthy. Hopeful.

Really, it was easy. Where I’ve stumbled over what to do and what I want and where I’ve left questions about who I am hanging in the air, this exercised revealed simply, already known answers. I know who I am… it’s just a matter of living it, chasing it, being it.

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